So Chris Hemsworth made a birthday cake for his kid and the internet shat its pants?! Bitch please, do you know how many cakes I've made?! Where is my parade? Just because he has a penis it's a triumph? Look I love a Hemsworth, don't get me wrong, but for fuck's sake.. Mothers be making cakes for many years now. Let's all calm down.
Was that a dream? Did I actually just give birth to a girl? For two parents who were so convinced they were delivering a boy - Baby Hank - even right up to when bub was put on my chest (and I quickly thought the umbilical cord was a penis) Betty you have blown our minds!!! It took me a few hours to grasp the concept of you because it was like I was looking straight down at Bobby all over again. You are twins!!! Absolutely besotted by you darling girl. Look how much your Dad loves you already. This photo truly sums up the quote 'I never realised how much I loved your Daddy until I saw how much he loved you.' 📷 @elsacampbell @birthphotographycollective
To share or not to share, that is the question! If we gave you $200, would you share it or keep it? Tag the mate you would share with if you’re a sharer or tag yourself if you’re not in the comments below and you could win $200 cash!
We'll pick 1 winner at random. Entries close 11:59pm 30/10/2016. Only valid within Australia. Full T&Cs at http://bit.ly/BOOSTtandCs
WHO WANTS TO WIN A NIGHTS ACCOMMODATION IN THIS BEAUTIFUL NORFOLK CABIN!!?? The lovely people down at at Adelaide Shores are gearing up for their 72 hour sale which starts THIS Wednesday 28th Sept at 12noon, so to celebrate they're giving one of my FB friends a free holiday! Simply pop your name below to be in the running. Its super simple, but the comp is only open for 24 hours! I'll draw it Friday night at 8pm. Then make sure you stay tuned to my social pages for more details on their SUPER 72 hour sale. You guys are going to be the first to hear about it because I love when you guys can get a bargain!
To celebrate the influence of perfume and the beginning of spring, 11 florists have spent over 5,000 hours and used over 150,000 fresh flowers to design this year’s David Jones Flower Show. Visit us instore at our Elizabeth St store and enjoy a complimentary guided tour led by our horticultural experts: http://bit.ly/2cCgRcc
Before we all start saying that the American woman whose four year old son fell into a Gorilla cage should be charged, mocked, shamed, and abused – let’s take a moment to consider a few things.
Firstly – do you know how hard it is to control a four year old? According to some reports, the kid climbed over a safety fence, while some onlookers tried to stop him. Was the mother in charge of other kids as well? If so, do you have any idea how quickly a child can escape your attention?
Bam! It happens. You look away for a split second and your toddler is suddenly walking out the front door, playing with an electrical cord, or trying to get into the pool.
Kids love climbing into the pool. That’s why we have laws in Australia that make sure every pool has a child-proof barrier. And if a child is able to breach that barrier, you get fined. A lot. And they conduct regular checks to make sure children can’t breach the barrier. Because they know that even the most diligent parent can’t possibly keep an eye on their children at absolutely every moment.
I take my two-year old to the Zoo all the time. You know what she says whenever we see an animal she likes? “I want to go in there”. Whenever she sees the gorillas she says “I want to cuddle them”.
So I let her walk up to the window, or to the fence that surrounds the monkeys, or to the cage that houses the lions, because I know there’s no way in hell she can get in.
The last time I took her to the Zoo we were looking at the lions. She was sitting in a jeep that jutted up against the window. I took a photo that made it look like she was driving towards a lion.
My mum was with us, and pointed out one of the younger lions on the far side of the cage. As I turned to look at the cubs, my daughter decided to get out of the jeep on her own, tripped and cut her lip open on the ground. I had looked away for a split second, and in that moment my daughter had split her lip.
I was angry at my mum for distracting me, but in truth, shit like this happens when you’ve got a kid sometimes. Accidents happen. Does that make me a bad parent? It felt like it at the time, but the only way I could have avoided the incident was to be watching my daughter at every conceivable second – and that just isn’t possible.
Now, imagine if instead of being in a jeep, she was standing at a fence. Imagine if instead of trying to dismount the jeep, she decided to cuddle a lion. And imagine if there was a way that she could actually have breached the fence. Shit would have got real, very quickly. An accident would have happened.
According to one report, the child at the Cincinnati Zoo scaled a three-foot fence. Three feet? That’s a metre. The fence around my swimming pool is higher than that, and has been checked to make sure it can’t be climbed by a child. I can’t even have pot plants near the fence in case they can be used as a climbing aid. Are you telling me my swimming pool is more secure than the gorilla enclosure at a metropolitan zoo?
You can’t keep an eye on your child at absolutely every moment of the day. Sometimes you can’t react quickly enough even when you are watching them. Sometimes a stranger will step in, sometimes you get lucky, but sometimes an accident happens, and through it all, you just hope that there are safety procedures in place to stop shit going wrong.
So before we all start rounding on that “careless parent” who “let their child walk into a gorilla enclosure” and then said “accidents happen”, let’s remember a few things.
1) The best parents in the world can lose sight of their children for a split second.
2) Four year olds are quick, elusive, and clever.
3) Sometimes, accidents happen.
Which is why
4) A gorilla enclosure at a public zoo should be secure enough that a four year old can’t get into it.
A simple guide to keeping dickhead questions away from Queens in need.
"Why didn't you just leave him?" Until you have been in an abusive relationship the invisible barriers that stop women from leaving are far too complex for you to understand.
"Why don't you just lose some weight?" Only specifically qualified people and those who have suffered an over eating or under eating disorder are able to fully grasp all of the ways in which they trap their victims.
"Why can't you just snap out of it?" Asking a depressed person to snap out of it is as useful as asking your toddler to remain calm while your friends kid plays with his favourite toy. It's not going to happen. If you have never suffered from depression or anxiety you are literally speaking another language.
If you think one of your Queens is struggling before talking to her ask yourself these 3 question. Is it helpful? Is it kind? Am I just being a dick?
It is hard enough being a women these days without constant judgments of those who's hands are supposed to be pulling us up. Because Queens only need helpful, kind, nondickish support.