I'm trying to teach my kids that kindness is cool.
They say that kids receive more social recognition for negative behaviours, bullying and meanness gives them a social boost, makes them appear powerful.
Power, winning, competition are glorified and Bullying is a desperate attempt at gaining a piece of that pie.
No wonder we have no control over the bullying crisis.
Recently I have come to the conclusion that we are all raising potential bullies, we are always discussing how to prevent our kids from being bullied but never really discussing the likely event that our kids could be the bullies.
I have seen it, my kind little girl, in a group, wanting to be accepted, one girl gets laughed at, my daughters eyes dart back and forth at who's laughing, the girls she wanted to impress, so she laughs too. It's that easy. They think MEANNESS is COOL.
Tomorrow instead of reminding Billie-Violet to ignore any bullies at school I am asking her to do one kind thing for a child that she doesn't usually play with at school. And I am giving her 2 Freddo frogs, one for her and one to hand to a the kindest kid in her class. I have to bribe them to do everything else in this life, kindness is no exception.
with my drug issues my poison was mainly opiates. 80mg oxycontin, sometimes heroin and a lot of the time codeine when i couldn't get the oxy. Though i was also a fucking party animal.. it was stupid. I used to idolise people like anthony kiedes and motley crue etc and all i wanted to be was a rock star and live that life. I actually lived that life and it was so much fun, at the start. So though my poison was opiates i'd be down for anything and everything. Coke, MDMA, Benzos, acid, shrooms, DMT, speed and the monster itself meth.
I was never a huge ice smoker, it wasn't my choice of drug. It was either that or coke. Coke in Australia is terrible and costs a fortune though where ice whilst expensive lasts days on end. I loved going on benders so i used to smoke it a LOT. It never reached an everyday thing for me though.. as long as i had my xanax and oxy there was no such thing as a comedown so i was always down for it if others were too.
Out of all the drugs out there, there is one that is leagues ahead of every other drug in every way and that is ICE. It's the MOST addictive by far. Some of people i know who are constant users manage to still function and lead a semi normal life. That's extremely rare though. Majority of the people i know who use the shit end up doing it so much and for so long that they never come back. I've seen the most polite well mannered guy turn fucking crazy and became the complete opposite; very scary out of control dude from 2 years of smoking ice alone. It destroys everyone. Out of everyone i know who has tried to quit i think 90% haven't been able to stay off it. I only know a few people who have fully cut it out of their lives but it took years of hard work and many relapses whilst losing a lot of friends and family in the process. It is the devil. I really do love this country but the effect ice is having on it is very noticeable and scares the shit out of me. The fact that in most rural towns you can probably find ice easier than you can weed says something. I know some people have had to move to another country because it's everywhere here and if you're an addict it can be impossible to escape. When i was young people would pass around a joint at parties, maybe even a rolled up note for some coke or x to snort. These days people are passing around pipes.
If you're messing with the pipe and don't think it's an issue.. personally i think you should stop because once you cross that line it's one of the hardest things to ever come back from. i've been clean for nearly 2 years. Ice wasn't even my poison but it's the only drug that i still get cravings for. I've seen it single handedly tear whole families apart where the people have lost literally everything and STILL can't stop
if you are struggling with it, seek help. Open up to your family and also tell your friends. Get professional help too. It's not something you can beat on your own. Don't be ashamed either, being open and admitting it is a huge deal and is respectable. It takes balls
these government funded anti-ice campaigns are fucking terrible though. They have 0 idea that simply showing a picture of a pipe will have every addict itching. Even just looking at the glass pipe literally sets them off, it's THAT bad. I guarantee that there's people out there who saw that advertisement and it caused them to go and score.
Being an ice addict in recovery is kinda like being in the cast of the walking dead but in real life. The zombies = current ice addicts and the unaffected people are the addicts in recovery. The zombies/addicts are fucking everywhere. You have to avoid them at any cost cos even a tiny nibble will turn you into one of them again. Run for your fucking life!
They said she slept around. They said she was up herself, fake, an attention seeker. They said she fell for the wrong guys. They said she only went out with him for the money. They said she would fuck this up some how. They said she only got pregnant to save the relationship. They said she didn't put on enough weight, not healthy for the baby. They said she opted for a C-section because she's "too posh to push" They said she gave up on breastfeeding too early. They said she's not coping, it's probably depression. They said she's taking way too long to lose the baby weight. They said she was endangering the baby by letting him co-sleep. They said she was too hard on the baby's bed time routine. The said she was too attached to the child, it's giving him anxiety. They said she didn't spend enough time with the child, it's giving him anxiety. They said she was fucking the child up by being too soft. They said she was fucking the child up by working too soon. They said her kids are always sick because she doesn't keep them clean enough. They said her kid got sick because she is too clean, no immunity. They said she fucked up her marriage by not putting him first. They said she was going to end up regretting everything.
She however... Didn't notice anything that "they" said because, She... Lived in blissful happiness and her children loved her... and She... Found herself surrounded by new Hilarious legends everyday.... So She.... Polished that crown of hers. And she....
Rocked out until the end of her days, pissing everyone off by how Spectacular her majesty really is.
"They" soon learnt that she had actually been Queening out all along. So all "they" had left to do is bow down every time the Queens of Radness passed them by. 😘
Keep on Queening on Queens and say something kind to a Queen today xxxx
"This is why. Because having lost my partner in a horrible pedestrian accident this month I had to ask policemen if I was 'allowed' to write Spouse on incident reports. I had to cross out boxes for husband on the death certificate and boxes for father on our new baby's birth certificate (both on the same day). I had to yell out in a busy, crazy emergency room "She is my wife, I know it's not legal but she is my wife!" Because we were never political, we just did our thing, did our life our way and tried to live by example to shift peoples hearts rather than pushing agendas. BUT the amount of freaking paper work I am having to do to secure mine and my children's future welfare is just ridiculous when all it would take is one marriage certificate.
And most of all because I love her, and she has been my every day for ten years, She is the mother of our two girls, she is the future I dreamed of and she is my safe place to land. Because love is love and we should celebrate it and encourage it always. The world is harsh enough.
Feel free to share widely - #thisiswhy" - Lara Ryan