GREAT WHITE SHARK KILLED A shark has been caught and killed of the coast of WA. Authorities haven't confirmed if it's the same shark which mauled 29-year-old surfer Ben Gerring. Do you think killing the shark was the appropriate course of action?
I have this friend Jazz, she used to go out with a total fuckhead.
Like a total fuckhead, he would yell at her in public, embarrass her, control her money, he was indisputably a fuck head.
And we used to get so mad at her for staying, she's beautiful and kind and caring and we couldn't understand why she wouldn't just walk away.
Well eventually she did walk away, when I saw her the other day and we laughed about how much of a fuck head he was. But then I asked her, what could we have done better to support you while you were with him or help you actually leave sooner? and she responded with this,
“Well think about the way you and the girls all approached me, you constantly said that I should leave, some of you got really mad at me for not leaving and I still don't even talk to Jess. It kind of felt a bit like you were victim blaming me, it wasn't me who was being the arsehole it was him. And Im sorry but until you’ve been in an abusive relationship you have no idea how strong the curse your under to stay actually is”
I realised Jazz was right, we did victim blame her, we always asked her what SHE was going to do about it, we put so much pressure on her when really she needed the opposite, support and positive encouragement to leave. We were trying to make her see that she was strong enough to leave but we actually made her feel like the biggest failure for not having done it yet.
I learnt a massive lesson, about how to approach someone in an abusive relationship. Focus on the things that she is capable of, show her that she isn't alone and wouldn't be if she left because focusing on how fucked up her relationship is and how horrible he is will only make her feel like a bigger failure for staying and eventually push her further away isolating her further, which is EXACTLY What fuck head boyfriends want.. But reminding her of how lovely and strong and capable and looked after she is might actually help her out of the rut.
I asked Jazz if she had any advice for anyone in an abusive relationship and she said this, “You are not stupid, you don't need anyone to tell you that he is a prick, you know it and you hate yourself for staying, but remember this.. There will come a time where you have had enough and you will feel strong and your fear of leaving will be gone and you will live the life that you deserve. Stop hating yourself, just because leaving is your responsibility doesn't make staying your fault. He hasn't broken you. He can't break you”
How cool is that? Almost as cool as the fact that Jazz is now a mum and her partner is hot as fuck and treats her like a Queen 👊🏼💗
RIP to THE LEGEND. Thanks to this champion , boxers like myself were able to make a living from the sport we love. He was responsible for bringing the great sport of boxing to the masses. He captured the imagination of everyone. #sadday