Last week I met a women at school pick up, I had seen her around but never spoken to her. We were both early and had littlies playing in the playground, I introduced myself.
She burst into tears.
Lets called her Alex. Alex isn't from here. Originally she's from interstate and some days she just doesn't have anyone to talk to.
She was upset because her husband is being a knob. They haven't been getting on and now he's given her the silent treatment for a whole week.
Doors are being slammed, passing his keys to her he snatches them, couches are being slept on. The usual.
I know how that feels, god I know. In a shittier time I have gone weeks without hearing a word from Bill, I’ll never forget the feeling of sitting on my bed, pregnant with twins, weighed down by the 2 kids pulling at me, while he got all dressed up to go somewhere and didn't even tell me where he was going, disregarding me like a piece of shit. The silent treatment is a really shitty form of control.
Of course there are 2 sides to every story, somedays Im a monster to live with and no doubt Alex can be to, but her husband isn't the one who cried in my arms last week, so his story isn't mine to know.
What is Alex supposed to do? She told me she wants to leave, she said she has nowhere to go and would feel silly going to a womens refuge because her husband is giving her the silent treatment.
She told him to leave, he said no, he said “its my house, you leave” Alex cant afford a hotel and she has no family here.
Its horrible when the bread winner does this. Alex worked before she had kids, she had a supportive family before she moved to Perth for his family. The sacrifices you make for your children should ever be used to control you, but they always seem to be.
When you have a child you can fuck the word “mine” out the window. Everything is ours. Everything.
So of course I told Alex that her and her children are staying at my house. Sometimes the only way to solve a problems is a sleepover.
Alex told me she would never burden me like that, I said “Burden? Im not cooking or cleaning for you!! Lets get Indian take away and let the kids stay up all night watching movies, it will be fun.”
My friends taught me this kind of kindness. When my life was falling apart, they all made room for me.
I only have a 3 bedroom house and 6 of us live there. But there is always space.
Women need to make room for women in their homes, its a necessity.
Alex never ended up having a sleepover with me, she went home, packed her bags and told her husband that she's not putting up with his silent treatment anymore, having an option gave her strength. This apparently snapped him out of his silent state and they both broke down the barriers that were preventing a breakthrough with the argument.
She called me, sounded like that grey cloud of anxiousness had left her and even though I had been looking forward to the look on Bills face when he came home to yet another women and children commune I was happy for her.
Of course their problems are deep and I don't claim to know how to fix them. What I can do is give her an option, a place to feel welcome, because nobody deserves to feel stuck between a rock and the silent treatment.
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Who can forget the column in the Sydney Morning Herald by Elizabeth Farrelly, - Grassroots efforts boost sustainability whilst the big boys look the other way - about the capacity of the suburban strip to produce volume based quantities of neighbourhood nutrition. Last year from one small verge location the URBAN FOOD STREET neighbourhood produced just over 2400 units of winter greens over a 12 week period from June to September. Missed the column?
Here is a snippet. “Then there’s agriculture sans paddock. Urban Food Street set itself to challenge conventional urban design and “the car-centric status quo of our roads and nature strips”. In 2009, answering Ken Maher’s call for “an architecture that reflects life at a deeper level,” architecture graduate Caroline Kemp and horticulturist Duncan McNaught began “retrofitting” suburban streets to produce edible food. That’s familiar enough. What’s unfamiliar is the quantity.
The common criticism of urban agriculture, from Edward Glaeser and others, is volume-based. Yet from only six streets, UFS now produces commercial quantities of spray-free, no-food-miles sustenance.”
2400 units from a singular verge location in a 12 week period. Remarkable really!!!#vergegrown #wintergreens #12weeks #URBANFOODSTREET #peoplestreetfood.
Moose is a rescued Australian Shepherd mix. Juniper is his fox. They met when Juniper was just five weeks old and since then have been inseperable! Cuteness level 100. (Credit: Instagram/juniperfoxx) #9Today
It's taken all day for the good news to settle. I got my scans back today and my breast care nurse is absolutely mystified - my cancer is less active than ever and I don't have to go back for 3 whole months! Hot chocolate and a French film to celebrate good scan results! Thanks for your well wishes, it helped get me through a week of anxiety. Now is awesome. XX Connie
The person/people who let the scum bag nut job who ran down innocent people in Melbourne yesterday out on bail, YOU HAVE THE BLOOD OF THESE PEOPLE ON YOUR HANDS!! This arsewipe should NEVER EVER have been back on the streets!! FOOT NOTE...he was already out on bail for other crimes and was being watched by VicPol!!!