This greyhound with a broken leg was found wandering the streets, but despite her condition, she managed to lead a vet over three kilometres to where her puppies were. She’s been named Vera and is now recovering with her ten adorable pups. What an incredible story. (Credit: Facebook/Ibizan Hound Rescue) #9Today
So great to hear the news that WA has one of the highest pregnancy vaccination rates in the world. Hopefully this is a trend that continues all across Australia. Our beautiful babies deserve protection.
Bob was getting a log for his fire on New Year’s Eve when he slipped and fell, breaking his neck. He was left for nearly 20 hours in temperatures that dipped to -4C, aided only by his Golden Retriever, Kelsey, who lay on top of him to keep him warm. “By morning my voice was gone and I couldn’t yell for help, but Kelsey didn’t stop barking,” Bob said. “She kept barking but never left my side… She kept me warm and alert. I knew I had to persevere through this and that it was my choice to stay alive.” Did someone say man’s best friend? #9Today
In 2015 Natasha hadn’t yet crossed the enlightened drawbridge to the Kingdom of Eat, Pray Love wanderlusting. She was still fingering around with the Kuta peasants and knew she could do better.
That all changed one day when she was taking a break from washing the dirty barefoot marks from her carpet after last night’s genital coupling with her South Fremantle lothario.
She stumbled upon Instagram’s Bali Bible: the definitive picture guide for wankettes who believe spirituality is a $300 Tiger Air ticket away.
Nathasha sits in the Tiger departure area hoping her oversized floppy hat would shield her from the paracetamol snorters and insta-sluts that believed a modelling career was a Potato head selfie away.
She snaps a photo of her boarding pass, Passport and a copy of Eat, Pray, Love and to prove she is more full of shit than an old boys jocks she drops the smuggest caption of 2017:
“Today I embark not on a holiday, but on a journey, to learn the wisdom of the Indonesians, nurture my body with organic wholeness and show you all there actually is another side to Bali #followme #sheisnotlost #wanderlust #eatpraylove #ubud #uluwatu #organic #vegetarian #yogagirl #fromwhereyoudratherbe #spiritual #travel”
She first struts into Seminyak like a bigger Lycra-clad wanker than a cyclist riding in the middle of Stirling Highway. While trying to take a selfie of her vegetable smoothie she is interrupted by a group of unpalatable Bingtangoids, “hows yas going? Where ya heading, mate?”
“I am on my way to Uluwatu and then Ubud, I guess you guys are looking for Kuta?” The braided man wipes beer from his goatee, “Ulu-what? Never heard of it ay”
Ding, ding, ding! It’s like Larry Emdur announced Natasha’s name to have a crack at the showcase on The Cunt is Right, and she fires into full smug-fuckery:
“You don’t know where Uluwatu is? (neither does she) Oh, honey, best stick to Kuta then”. She walks off giggling will madly checking her iPhone for directions to her spiritual homeland.
In total, she spends 1 day in Uluwatu, and 2 nights in Ubud. She did dabble in some yoga but the real downward dog she got was from a white dreadlocked guy who’d introduce his chakra before his “earthling name”.
Natasha leaves Ubud feeling like the spiritual leader of her Insta-followers: a regular Cuntai Lama. In reality she lost followers as it’s very hard to masturbate to an Acai bowl and photo of some poor Bali kids playing with shit toys.
While waiting to return to Perth from her pilgrimage she hears the bad news: Indonesia have cancelled her flight. Suddenly the Bali goddess joins the slurred chorus of the aggrieved, “Indonesia is so corrupt! Seriously!!! #fml #whyme #corrupt #allaoutofmoney”
To the Balinese al Aussie travellers are like participants in a cultural bukake: we all leave the same stain, just in a different area.
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A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, turns to her and asks, "Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?" "NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking. The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks, "Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back." "NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street. The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says, "Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride." Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out... "Look Dad" "You're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley ...YOU RIDE IT!!"