Since posting that mesage from "Jerry" this afternoon, I've received a number of really lovely emails from women. I don't know if something was posted in a group made up of baller babes, but thank you. It is very humbling to be connected to such an amazing collection of humans and I want to assure you that dickheads like Jerry don't even touch the sides of any hurt chamber for me when women are and continue to be so excellent.
I don't have the time I'd like to adequately respond to emails, and this causes some anxiety for me. Ignoring the dregs for a moment, I get a lot of correspondence from people who share deeply personal stories, ask for advice or just write really nice things. I tie myself up in knots over responding because a few lines never seems like enough but I don't always have time to write the long responses I'd like to either. So I do nothing! And then I feel guilty and enter the shame spiral familiar to socially anxious people. Gah!
All of that is to a long way of saying that if you have ever written to me, I apologise profusely if I didn't write back. I read everything I am sent and I am so humbled by some of the stories people entrust to my keeping. I wish I could give you the words and time that you deserve. Let me say this: the world is full of incredible women who survive and endure and overcome the most awful of things. I respect and love every one of you, even if I haven't been able to tell you that personally. Thank you for the love you send my way. It does not go unnoticed and it is most certainly appreciated.
Terry is the toughest motherfucker behind a keyboard and pops up on articles regarding violent crime. That home invading crackhead better not choose Terry's dwelling next, or he will batter them so badly his wife will to ask to speak to the manager of the fish and chip shop.
He delights in dreaming up twisted vengeance methods, "lets just say I'd hook his cock up to me Hills Hoist, attach me car battery and play ring around the raw-dicksie".
No penalty is ever tough enough for him either. Be it a burglary, rape or kicking a Quokka, the penalty is as stated above with that Hills Hoist weirdness.
2. The Expert
No matter what subject, the expert reckons a bunch of highly specific shit about it. Generally, they pop up in regards to animal behaviour, responses to natural disasters and Government policy.
If you are lucky, the expert has at least plagiarised the first Google search they've come across, if you are unlucky then that reckoning has spewed directly out of their ever-open valve of shit.
Typically, they have achieved less in life than the sperm that thought it fertilised a piece of corn inside a pornstar's arse.
3. Mr Anti-Halal
If he was a super hero, his power would be relating ANYTHING to "Islams", Halal certification and burqas. He also believes he has a PhD in Islam and loves spreading his thesis to anyone who will listen. Like seeing a pig's head at a Reclaim Australia rally, you aren't surprised but you do shake your head in a sort of disbelief.
Sometime you are genuinely impressed at the obscurity of the connection. "Oi SO them cunts can take me Commy for speeedin ubt Islams can wear towells on there HEADS in the bank ha ha h pissweak countries gon o the dogs"
4. Mrs Someone Think About the Children
If offence culture had a face, it would be a suburban mum trying to start up a petition in a comment section to ban the sexualisation of toddler shoes with slightly raised heels on them.
You can pick this commenter out a mile away as she normally has better spelling from her mummy blogging (not always though). More importantly, she is the one that usually makes you want to punch a hole through your screen the most.
5. The FIFO
Everything is fuck all mate. From your working conditions to the current weather, this cunt has had it harder than nailing a head shot on Jaws in Goldeneye 64. Problem is every he says is as reliable as piss test after the 2006 Eagles premiership win.
For someone so battle-weathered he is mighty sensitive and will instantly call you jealous of his repossessed assets and 2 week coward punching benders. Oh, and don't mention 457, the combination that unlocks No.6 on our list.
6. The Caps Lock Crusader
The Caps Lock Crusader can come in many forms. However, the best Caps Lock Crusaders know that the unadulterated caps lockery is essential to hammer home the ever important point you are trying to make.
"oi Jetstar i BOOKED my ticket 2 WEEKS ago and yous still haven't sent out an itinerary, NOT HAPPY!!!!"
Note how you wouldn't have understood the sentiment unless it was punctuated like a type-writer with tourettes?
7. The "This is Not News"
His threshold for newsworthy-ness is extreme. However one must ask themselves, if they wanted to be informed, why are they on Perthnow to begin with?
In a new video, Independent Federal MP for the Tasmanian seat of Denison, Andrew Wilkie, pledges to do everything he can to strengthen Our ABC - protecting it as much as possible as the government attacks with cuts. You can help too - by donating or joining abcfriends.org.au so we can keep up the fight! (And bring you items like this).
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Pauline Hanson has compared Islam to a disease Australians need to vaccinate themselves against, a comment described by the Deputy Prime Minister as "bat poo crazy".
The Queensland senator, who was forced into a rare apology earlier this month, after recommending parents ask for a non-existent test before vaccinating their children, reiterated her calls for a ban on Islamic immigration in the wake of a terror attack in London, where four people died, as well as the British-born terrorist.
After facing condemnation from both sides of politics for releasing a video just hours after the attack calling for the hashtag #Pray4MuslimBan to be used in place on #PrayForLondon hashtag as a way to "solve the problem", Senator Hanson remained defiant.
"Let me put it in this analogy - we have a disease, we vaccinate ourselves against it," she said on Friday. Pauline is about to begin her third TV cross when James Ashby steps in "Islam is a disease; we need to vaccinate ourselves against that."
Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce was quick to denounce the One Nation leader's latest comments as "bat poo crazy" and said people were not a disease.
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/pauline-hanson-says-islam-is-a-disease-australia-needs-to-vaccinate-20170324-gv5w7z.html Muslims want to impose Sharia law because they "hate Western society," Senator Pauline Hanson told the ABC. Muslims want to impose Sharia law because they "hate Western society," Senator Pauline Hanson told the ABC. Photo: Andrew Meares "This kind of stuff does not help anybody," he said.
"It was just stupid, it was plain dumb," he said. "I'll try and put it really simply - I, on behalf of the Australian people, am very proud to be going to this place called Indonesia, the biggest Islamic country on Earth and we export to them massive amounts of wheat and massive amounts of cattle and I get along really well with them. We move a heap of product.
"And statements like that ... the worst insults you could ever have in politics - they are not helpful."
Earlier, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull said promoting a Muslim ban was playing into the terrorist organisations' hands.
"Their recruiting message to Muslims and Australian Muslims is to say 'this country doesn't really want you, you're not really Australian, they all hate you'," he told 3AW radio.
"Inciting hatred against any part of the Australian community is always dangerous. It undermines the mutual respect that we have in our community."
But Senator Hanson said: "it comes down to immigration".
"People want answers and that is why I am receiving so much support on my stance on this," she told a press conference in Brisbane on Friday afternoon.