'A Rabbi, a Sheikh and a Christian Minister walk into an office, and officially open it. All agreed we live in a country that is open, tolerant and free. And lots of people expected a joke, but were pleasantly surprised when there wasn't one.'
Get fucked. Yes it is. We can all lose ourselves in Motherhood, famous or not. I'm too tired to argue this steaming pile of shit. http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/babies/opinion-having-a-baby-isnt-a-miracle-and-doesnt-make-you-a-goddess/news-story/94eda7c8353411157865fa27244c57ba
This photo says it all. A huge thanks to all the crews on the fire grounds and behind the scenes working to protect life and property. At 8pm there are 60 bush and grass fires in NSW, 19 uncontained, with one at Watch and Act. Photo via Rural Fire Service Cumberland Zone #NSWRFS
The Christian organisation behind plans to build a giant illuminated cross atop a hill in remote Central Australia wants to raise a further $1 million for the project, despite already raising hundreds of thousands of dollars from private donors and gaining the support of actor Mel Gibson.
I’ve been pretty bored lately guys I basically just sit around all day looking up simpsums memes and watching classic Joey from ‘Friends’ moments on youtub but anyways what I’m trying to say is in my boredom I decided to compile a list of the 20 things that I think are better than having sex with a hot chick anyways here goes: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. yeh so haha basically what I’m trying to get at is I think that having sex with a smokin hottie is pretty much the best think going round but then I thought aw Nick that’s a bit of a cop out mate there are heaps of other sick things that are almost as good as sex with a hot chick so anyways here my list of the 20 best things other than sex with a hot chick: 1. wheelies 2. pub feeds (extra chips no salad) 3. finding money 4. hanging out with your mates 5. mucking around and having fun 6. Joey from ‘Friends’ 7. strippers (just the chick ones) 8. maccas runs 9. punching stuff when your pissed off 10. shotguns and bazookas 11. fresh fruit (kinda gay but it’s pretty good) 12. grant theft auto on ps4 (xbox is crap) 13. ganging up on the quiet one at work 14. finding out the guy who used to bully you in year 2 got in a skiing accident and now their paralysed (suck shit Martin) 15. dancing like nobody is watching 16. UFC (actually all types of fighting are awesome and boss) 17. beer (no shit sherlock) 18. hiding your emotions 19. when dad is really drunk and shows you old photos of him as a boy and he looks a lot like you do and he starts crying and you say dad what the hell whats with the waterworks i hope you aren’t getting soft on me and he says sorry son I’m just so proud of the man that you have become I’m sorry I don’t say these things very often I just think that hiding your emotions is cool and I say don’t worry dad so do i 20. Chandler from ‘Friends’ (sorry Ross and the chicks but you guys just flat out suck) so yeh thats it I guess. honourable mention to simpsums memes and memes in general
"If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the Earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change... so why not?"
Fuck this. Fuck this phrase so much.
Do not tell me your best mate would not sit on their couch for three fucking days just staring blankly at where you'd always sit wishing you were there to fill the space with laughter.
Do not tell me your brother or sister would not break down in the middle of school, work, the shops, anywhere, because someone started talking about your favourite things you used to do together.
Do not tell me your mother and father would not stare in the mirror with trembling lips wishing they could be bringing you home from the hospital rather than having to escort you away in a coffin to the cemetery.
Do not tell me your partner, husband or wife would not go into your room and put on the last jumper you wore trying to desperately imprint your scent onto their skin so they never forget your smell.
Do not tell me your friends and colleagues will not stare blankly at the wall after the Sergeant has announced your death to the entire station, making no sound and trying to convince themselves this is just another one of your impractical jokes.
DO NOT fucking TELL ME this bullshit line of how the stars would would still appear, the sun would still come out, the Earth would still rotate and the seasons would still change because without YOU you lil beautiful piece of human being, none of these people will want ANY of that to happen.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There is help out there, and we encourage and urge you to be strong and reach out. Talk to someone, start small and open up. The world would truly not be the same without you.
At any time of the day or night you can reach out and speak to someone from beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. Have the conversation, talk it through with them and get immediate support. Make this your first step to recovery.
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Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has warned that the sale of Australian farmland to foreigners is threatening the nation’s patriotism and sovereignty. The Nationals leader fears that as more land mass is bought and owned by overseas interests, it is less likely that Australians will be prepared to fight and die to defend their country. Mr Joyce, who is also federal Agricultural Minister, believes Australian farming families are at risk of ending up mere tenants in a “rented country”. “It is the essence of patriotism, the love of one’s country, (and) it is best delivered when you own that country,” a passionate Mr Joyce told the National Farmers Federation annual congress in Canberra yesterday. “And there’s one thing that people are not prepared to do, and that’s to die for a rented country.”