#BREAKING: Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher is understood to have suffered a heart attack on board a plane. It's believed people were forced to administer CPR but her current condition is unknown. For the full story, click here: http://www.9news.com.au/world/2016/12/24/08/32/carrie-fisher-suffers-heart-attack-on-plane/?ocid=todayfb #9Today
Each factory-manufactured rip on Tyler’s fuckboy shorts represent a gaping void where something useful used to go. Dignity, serotonin levels and the slim chance of future employment once photos of his gurned out death mask of a face surface online.
Origin 2016 babehhhh, drugs, bitches and the desperate hope that A$AP Rocky will acknowledge the dab he worked so hard on. So much in fact, that he left school less competent than a 1990’s Claremont detective playing a game of “Guess Who?”
The most important part of is outfit is a overly long singlet that exposes the majority of his torso. The utility of this garb cannot be understated.
Firstly, it shows off the every-cunt tribal tatts he got in Bali. Secondly, it gives him the freedom to rinse like a Kalgoorlie hooker’s poon-pit in a servo sink after a redundancy bomb had been detonated at the local mine.
By 9pm Tyler already has a face that would cause a newborn to retreat back into the womb. See, the beauty about smashing 6 MDMA caps is not only will you not remember the artists you spent a fortune to see, but in every photo you will be sweating like the Masterchef judges going Brokeback style in a sauna.
He watches a gaggle of scantily clad chickybabes dance to Pendulum. Actually, “watches” is a polite term for leering in a gacked out haze like a meth’d up truck driver going past the Sunday netball on Leach Highway.
He decides to make his move by busting a powerfully erotic interpretative dance. What is he interpreting? Perhaps an Energiser bunny doing the most hectic version of the hokey pokey you are likely to see. Unfortunately, his clinically diagnosable moves get him no closer to the sweet embrace of a d-floor grind.
Later on Tyler runs afoul of a number of hardcore A$AP fans by rinsing into them. Now, ordinarily such a rinse-aster could be solved with a quick apology, but no one has more to prove than white rap fans trying to appropriate black culture in front of actual black people.
Accordingly, they G up. Take the situation gangster wild and staunch Tyler like he was a defenseless security guard on the ground at an underage dance festival. The kind of 8 on 1 that would make Asa Akira proud.
Luckily for Tyler, he remembers little of the punch-up and proceeds to the kick-ons to show everyone how many cones he can punch while everyone catches up on the sets they missed by watching the recordings on their phones.
Not Tyler however. The SS-shitcunt had gone off course and in the pursuing drug-wreck he had lost his iPhone and wallet. Not to worry, he joins the other thousand shit-for-brains on the Origin page the next begging for the return of their cracked screened babies.
Santa Tim has some BIG news! To give back to our amazing fans we're giving one lucky customer a Gold Card to watch FREE movies for a whole year! Simply like our page and tag a friend that you would like to bring along as your +1 to your weekly movie! One lucky winner will be announced on Thursday! Keep an eye out on our page for more daily giveaways!
An amazing 485 pets are now in their furever homes! 💕 Thank you to everyone who braved the temperature and traffic congestion to get to Pop Up Adoption today. While there were a few hiccups along the way, we are truly grateful to those who understood and were patient with us. As with every year, we strive to improve and find more loving homes for pets at each event.
If you didn't find your furever pet today or couldn't make it, don't despair! Visit our website to see our pets still patiently waiting at the RSPCA: www.rspcaqld.org.au/adopt. Stay tuned for more RSPCA adoption events and promotions throughout 2017!
A very special thank you to all of our volunteers who took the time to help drive pets from our regional shelters and to those assisting on the day! These events cannot happen without your ongoing support.
To all of our adopters... THANK YOU for choosing to give a pet in need a second chance. Keep in touch by using #myrspcapet. If you have any adoption questions please contact us via 07 3426 9999.
Following Elizabeth Jones's excellent photo of a kangaroo trying to get to the shops to grab a bargain, Jessica Stucke has supplied this wonderful photo of a kangaroo on the breakwall. Perhaps contemplating a swim?