Meet Wicklow Town's 'Sammy the Seal'. Every day Sammy begs for fish outside a local seafood restaurant, and - after kicking up a fuss for a little while - usually gets receives a fresh catch for his efforts . Good boganing
When Joe Hockey is living overseas earning a six figure salary and is allowed to claim a pension, but Malcolm Turnbull wants to cut the pensions of hardworking Australians who travel overseas in their retirement, you have to wonder "who does this guy think he is?" #auspol #pension #outoftouch
I don't remember being more tired, lonely or overwhelmed in my life. Yes the more you have the more your work load grows but to me, there is nothing like the wave of shock that hits you when you bring home your first baby. Remember these things,
Nothing is permanent, don't ever feel like you have let yourself down, you have created a monster or in anyway made your own life harder by spoiling your baby. Every day is different, some days baby sleeps and you brush your teeth, some days baby doesn't and you rock in the corner staring at the wall.
Time spent enjoying yourself is not time waisted. There is nothing more important then your mental health. Do something everyday that you WANT to do. Maybe that's going for a run, maybe it's youtubing cat videos.
Some mums seem like naturals. They have blow dried hair and expensive prams. Inside they want to drown themselves in vodka, file for divorce and pull a bong too. They are just private queens so they do this on the inside. We are all struggling.
Vaginal births, breast feeding and co-sleeping are great, but so are C-sections, formula and babysitters. Your happiness is more important then any of it.
You feel a huge divide between your partner and you, you feel like he just doesn't understand. Do you know what? It's likely that he doesn't right now, but he will, he will learn to understand. The divide will shrink and you will feel connected again.
You are succeeding. Every single day that you get through, you are succeeding, with no sleep, loud screams, marital breakdowns, no post baby weight loss, you are succeeding.
You are such a fucking royal success story, what you are doing is phenomenal and overwhelmingly hard.
Me critical analysis of one of the worst MMA fights ever, which took place last night. Dada 5000 vs Kimbo Slice. (Fair Use). Regards, Ozzy Man Reviews. Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ozzyman
I think this is the best place for me to announce my retirement from acting, after nearly 25 years! And what better time to hang up my hat, so to speak! I can't act anymore. Not if I'm to serve you properly. This village means everything to me and I'm tired of other things dragging me away from you. It all started with a promise to my crook sister. I unicycled for her. But not for long. As I squiggled my way slowly through this brilliant fucking country of ours, I met many of you in person, in the same boat as me, and soon enough I was riding for all of us, for every family in this country being terrorised by cancer. I cannot play pretend on telly while our families are falling. Cancer is the last true riddle of our time (not of our doing) and I wanna be part of the push to solve it once and for all - part of the new 'moonshot'. To be honest, something's gotta kill us. I don't really have such a problem with cancer if it attacks someone after they've enjoyed a full life - fair price. But when it cuts down mums before they can see their kids grow, when it takes out innocent children...well, then I get majorly fucking offended.
I won't play pretend on television while science is being murdered. Not while federal funding for research remains static for ten years. Not while the CSIRO is being bulldozed. Not while climate science is still being denied. Not until I fulfill my promise to you. After I finished that unicycling absurdity I made you a promise. I promised that I would help raise $10M for those brilliant bloody scientists and researchers at the Garvan Institute of Medical Research. Like I showed with my one-wheeled promise to my poor terminal sister, I'm good for it. But I can't keep my promise as it stands. We raised $1.4M in our first year, $800K in our second year, and last year, down to $200K. We're not going to get there if I'm off gallivanting. So I won't. Not until we get to that $10M and show those faceless fuckers at the top end of town just how serious we are about research here at ground level. Not while people still believe that positive thinking and apricot kernels and hugs will cure it. Not while conspiracy theorists are stupidly assuming that our scientists would dare allow big pharma to hide their discoveries.
I love acting, it's the best job in the world. But the thing is, being a 'vollie' for healthy families kinda wins hands down. No contest. If it weren't for Molly, I'd have done it sooner.
So call me Molly if you like. Call me Research Australia's Advocate of the Year. Call me that annoying voice over guy. Call me a fundraiser, an advocate, an activist. Call me a brother who tries hard. Just don't call me an actor. Not until we as a nation are as threatened by cancer as we are by terrorism. Not until the $10M is raised. Until then, I'm all yours, around the clock.
And I do have a plan. Actually, it's not a plan at all. It's a war. I'm going all out. I'm building an army to make science and research more relevant again and I'll stop at nothing. To save me from dropping my lolly completely, Tim Minchin, Meshel Laurie, Danny Green, Shaun Tan, Nick Riewoldt, Tom Gleeson, Denise Scott, Michael Leunig, Deb Mailman, Michael Gudinski, Sam Mac and Shaun Micallef have already joined the push and it's growing. If you want the war plan, trust me with your email in the link below. I won't pester like the others.
Let's fucken do this. I love you. Here's to our Village! Here's to the good fight. Here's to every single scientist in the country. Here's to a world that wages war to save lives, not ruin them. And here's to kicking cancer in the face-hole once and for all.
Your loyal villager and proud retiree,
ps - I will still have to do the odd voice-over so I can eat if that's ok!